Technophobia and the Dinosaur

Technical dinosaurs are decreasing in numbers and might soon be in danger of extinction. Firstly, let me define a technical dinosaur. Anyone who shows revulsion for a computer might be termed as a technodino - sometimes outright hostility surfaces, especially when confronted with problematic situations where only a computer can solve the difficulty. The sufferer might even start rolling eyes at the ceiling, walking in circles whilst keeping arms tightly folded across the chest, or shouting oh f------g hell at the top of their lungs.

Such attacks are frequently experienced in banks, supermarket checkouts, airport terminals, private homes and places of work where central accounting is rendered useless in the event of a power cut.

Some technodinos display curious behavior when confronted with DVD players, mobile telephones or MP3 players. Tutting, swearing, chair-kicking and door slamming are common symptoms of an attack. The elderly fall into a high risk category when required to program a DVD into a television or set a play list onto an MP3. Invariably the services of the resident four year old grandchild are called upon, and the situation is rectified within about three minutes.

Feelings of inadequacy accompanied by physical nausea then set in, as the dino retires to his or her study/kitchen/bedroom to recover from the effects of exposure to technical ability, sometimes accompanied by the derisive laughter of said four year old.

A recent survey highlighted that 98% of housewives only utilize 30% of available gadgets and hi tech features on household appliances because they are unable to adequately interpret instructions on how to operate the other 70%. Of the 1000 ladies surveyed, 200 expressed no interest whatever in learning about new gadgets, 400 were satisfied with the performance of their equipment but preferred to upgrade annually, 250 made their husbands do the housework and the rest were alcoholics.

The most successful lifestyle available to technodinos is to actively seek to cohabit with another sub species known as a technowizard, a creature of equally debilitating habits. The two conditions tend to compliment each other admirably, rather like Jack Spratt and his wife. The technowizard is definitely the more dominant, hence the imminent extinction of the weaker species.

Jan Gamm writes reflections on life with an emphasis on world travel. She has lived in many countries and traveled extensively in the Far East, the Middle East, America, South America and throughout the South Pacific. She writes for fun and for money whenever she can manage it.

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